It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So much Jack, so little girl.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
PANTIES FOUND
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize