I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
