Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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