I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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