You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
There r osticjed everywhere
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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