he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
