So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
