can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
