and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
