Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
