I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
