He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
