one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
