You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
