i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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