you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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