The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
