saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
