I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
