Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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