we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
