This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
