That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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