So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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