It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I smell stomach acid.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
