You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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