it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
