If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
vagina is talking i cant
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
