took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
