i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
