Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
