If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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