Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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