yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I skipped work to stalk him.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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