hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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