I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
