He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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