Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
