Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
