Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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