we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
