Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize