i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
