Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
