what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
