therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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