They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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