I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
