Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
