My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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