dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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