You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Plan B is the new Plan A
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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