so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
