Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
