I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
