dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
