Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize