no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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