More tranny stories later!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
