I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize