Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
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