I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
