so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
