I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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