# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
