You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Randomize
