We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
