need another drink. this is the easiest way
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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