i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize