I smell stomach acid.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
