I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
