doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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