If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
