We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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