The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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