do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
