Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Text me some of your sweat
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
