You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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