Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
